


Don't Go Where I Can't Follow

by xanster



Series: Real-Life Matters [5]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 21:21:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11261244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanster/pseuds/xanster
Summary: It is said that the period between life and death is anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours.The space where you're hovering between the world of the living and the world of the dead, or the after-life.Sometimes in a passing moment, you encounter someone in a special circumstance.It doesn't have to be romantic, but more often than not, it is too intense a connection to be platonic.This is a story about one of those moments: of two people in different circumstances, in love and of loving.This is a story about giving and letting go, and waiting and hoping





	Don't Go Where I Can't Follow

1.

Changmin clutches at the front of his shirt, panting, trying to catch a much-needed breath.

His lungs feel like they are on fire.

It was just a short walk, maybe about 15 minutes long, but he should have taken it easy.

He remembers his doctor's warning:  _time is running out._

 

\---

 

a.

Yunho looks up as Changmin walks into the room.

The afternoon glow of the sun is soft and envelopes the man in a caress that makes him look like he's glowing.

Yunho is taken aback momentarily,  _mine. And this person is all mine_.

Changmin's eyes rest upon him, and they light up with a knowing twinkle that's  _all for you, just for you._

He stands up to receive the younger man as he heads straight into his open arms, like a homing beacon.

 

\---

2.

Yunho's a social worker. 

He's always known that was his calling - helping others.

He's lived a life that's like most other 30-year olds of his age: he's graduated from a good school, has a good job, has a sister who he's close to, loves his parents and has had a few relationships. Next month, he's flying to Las Vegas on a boys' trip. A smile turns up the corner of his mouth at Hojun hyung's promise to  _DRINK THE BELLAGIO DOWNNNNNNNN._

So that day was like any other day.

Perhaps if someone told him what kind of day it would turn out to be; and if he would have any regrets until that point of time, he might say,  _Las Vegas_.  _Or maybe, that I am leaving my family behind. But otherwise, because that was just who he was - he would say: no regrets. No regrets at all._

 

\---

 

b.

"You know I love you, right?" whispers Changmin.

"Almost as much as I love you," replies Yunho.

Changmin wants to argue, but he doesn't. It's a verbal battle he'd lose, despite how much he disagrees with Yunho's answer.

They are lying in the middle of a meadow somewhere, with waist-high sunflowers around them and a pale blue sky with fluffy clouds floating by in the breeze.

Yunho pushes up on his elbows and turns to look down at him.

Silhouetted against the sunlight, Yunho looks like an angel,  _like you don't belong here with me_. 

"Stop thinking weird thoughts," cautions Yunho, he's noticed the way Changmin's eyes are widening in momentary panic. 

He leans it to kiss Changmin softly, and Changmin forgets what he was thinking about before.

 

\---

3.

Time _is running out_.

Changmin can sort of tell when the day arrives.

His doctor's asked him a few times, no, begged him, to consider hospitalisation until they could find a donor but he had stubbornly refused to, wanting to let nature take its course.

His parents have moved in with him, tears in his mother's eyes and a sadness in his father's.

But this is how the chess pieces lie.

He's been having more and more difficulty breathing and can't get up from bed for long at all.

One night, he goes to sleep, after hugging his parents goodnight and in the morning, when he doesn't open his eyes,

His mother screams while his father runs for the telephone.

Just barely. 

Barely breathing.

 

\---

 c.

As expected of Yunho, he'd signed the form. The opt-in form where he would ensure that someone else in need would get what he could give after he was gone. 

His parents cry quietly, a wound in their souls that would open up, perhaps scar over but never heal. His sister holds onto his cold hand as she tries to be strong for the family that now numbers 3.

It was pretty fast, when all things are considered. 

Jung Yunho, aged 30. Walking down the street one day, when a small kid runs across a busy street, and in his haste to save the kid, he gets knocked down instead.

Son, Brother, Friend. 

Hojun stands in the hallway, frozen in devastation while their other friends gather around.

His hand is clutching the now meaningless air tickets to Las Vegas.

_Yunho-yah, weren't we supposed to go to Vegas?_

 

\---

 

4.

The sun is setting in the far-off horizon.

The temperature is dropping.

Changmin shivers and cuddles closer to Yunho.

He feels a kiss pressed against his temple.

"Baby, you should get going, you're getting cold."

Changmin shakes his head, he doesn't want to leave, to leave Yunho.

"It's time." Yunho whispers. He turns Changmin's head to face him and leans their foreheads together.

"I love you, Changmin."

"But you can't come with me." 

Yunho shakes his head sadly.

"How can I find you again?"

 

Yunho leans in slowly, a smile on his lips and love in his eyes.

"Just don't go where I can't follow," he murmurs as he presses their mouths together.

 

\---

d.

Changmin gasps into the oxygen mask as he wakes.

He feels an ache at the side of his body where the transplant had taken place.

He opens his eyes and stares up at the strangeness of the hospital ceiling.

Beside him, his mother stares and then runs out, calling for the doctor.

In the 5 seconds before they all come back,

Changmin can't help but feel that he's left something behind.

 

\---

5.

"Your lungs gave out, Mr Shim." says the doctor as they brief him on what had happened in the past 48 hours.

"Technically, you were dead."

His mother's hand is warm around his cold one.

"Then in the nick of time, we had a car-accident victim come in. We couldn't save him. He was a perfect match for you. Blood type, everything worked out. Conveniently, he was also a registered organ donor."

Changmin feels his heart thud in its place. Something, somewhere, someone. A distant memory, a dream.

"Who was he?" he asks, voice hoarse.

"He was a social worker. His name was Yunho." 

 

\---

6.

Yunho watches a man stand by his tombstone. 

The man seems familiar, but to him right now, names are not important, after all ethereal beings are in no need of memories.

The man is tall and handsome.

Yunho reckons he would have liked him if they had met when he was still alive.

 

Changmin kneels down at his donor's tombstone, fingers tracing the words:

JUNG YUNHO. BELOVED SON,  BROTHER AND FRIEND. GONE TOO SOON.

 

He feels a pang of regret deep inside somewhere.

 _Thank you_ , he thinks.  _I wish I got to know you_.

He had seen Yunho's pictures, read about Yunho's work. Met his family. He's promised to be like a son to them in return. He loves them already.

He feels like.. he could have loved Yunho too.

 

Yunho watches on from the side.

 _Me too._ He thinks, before he turns away and walks into the light. 

 

\---

e.

Yunho watches Changmin's forlorn figure as he moves slowly away from where they were in the middle of the meadow.

He made Changmin promise not to turn back, but it's killing them both inside.

 _I have to let you go_ ,  _this is not your time or your place._

I love you, Yunho.

_I'll be waiting._

Promise?

 _Just don't go where I can't follow_. 

**Author's Note:**

> The paragraphs are ordered  
> 1\. 2. 3. 4. 5.  
> a. b. c. d. e.
> 
> One is a place where time is immemorial and both Yunho and Changmin are together.  
> One is where they aren't but are still bound together.  
> We hear of experiences and epiphanies when people are brought back to life or saved in the nick of time.  
> One of those inspired this drabble.


End file.
